Solace MUD Official Forum

            Can you read these right the first time?
 

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth,

why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese

So one moose, 2 meese?

One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick
 
 

http://www.engrish.com :)

LOL

//My main body has had many a happy laughing fun at engrish.com.

As far as how screwed up the English language is (these are my own):

Everyone knows what it's like to be disgruntled, but does that mean you're happy when you're gruntled?

Everyone's been overwhelmed at one point, but no one has ever been just plain whelmed.
 
Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

"I" before "e" except after "C"... except in feign, reign, weigh, sleigh, freight-- OK FINE THERE ARE NO RULES IN ENGLISH!

//Seriously, how anyone manages to learn our wacky amoebic language is beyond me.

I am whelmed. ;) Yes indeed, it is a strange language.

You will be surprised, but russian language has a lot of such examples. Pity, I cant show you them.  ;)

Learn Russian, it's very nice language *winks*

I learned Cantonese and it's a cinch compared to english (very loose sentence structure, easier to sound fluent, tones are hell though). I've always wanted to learn russian, maybe you can have a russian help file on the forum (using romanized language)?

When Russian is translated back into English form, it just seems so mixed up. Yet you say it's easy? :o

I would not say it's easy. Hard to learn, especially grammar. Many native russian speakers cant say they know russian good ;)

If you use translators, Jemma.. Well, if we have russian phrase, use russian-english translator, and after use english-russian translator, we will get almost rot  :P

ProphallictiC, what do you want to see in these help files? ;)