Solace MUD Official Forum

The most frightening thing about middle age is that one day you'll grow out of it.  Doris Day

As you grow old you lose interest in sex, your friends drift away and your children ignore you.  There are many other advantages, of course, but these seem to be the outstanding ones.  Richard Needham, Journalist

The face is familiar but I can't remember my name.  Robert Benchley, Writer

A 65 years old woman rang her husband who was driving on the motorway.  "Be careful Bill"  she said.   "Apparently there's a car driving the wrong way up the motorway."  "Hell",  he replied,  "It's not just one.  There are hundreds of 'em".   Shelley Klein, writer

I can lie convincingly about my age because at my age I can't remember what it is.  Violet Conti, writer

Never pass a bathroom.  The Duke of Edinburgh

One day,  aged 45,  I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and when I came out I found I was 68.  Thora Hird.

I'm pushing 60.   That's enough exercise for me.  Mark Twain

I knew I was going bald when I found it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.   Harry Hill, comedian

Why does the medical profession still keep writing on prescription bottles in a size that only a twenty year old can read?

 
You were standing there with the medicine bottle in your hand and you died because you couldn't read the instructions.  Bill Cosby,actor

When you are about 35 years old, something terrible always happens to music. Steve Race, broadcaster

I said to my husband,  "My boobs have gone,  my stomach's gone.  Say something nice about my legs".
He said, "Blue goes with everything."  Joan Rivers, comedian.

An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says,

" I just had a silent fart what do you think I should do?"
He replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL ;D