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 Kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:


"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend lying in bed replies: "I think you'll find that's a
sheep, dickhead."


The man returns: " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

BAYAN!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WTF!? LOL I NEEDED THAT ONE. HAHA! :D

yes you do :P

Seems you're very angry lately  :o

trying to get all my clan mates kicked out :P haha

How am I trying to get all your clanmates kicked out? ???

*grin* Just messin' with ya, but you are trying :|

Ah, yes, well kender do not belong in clans period.

I dunno, Keeno does an amazing job.

Of rping a knight, yes. But as for a kender, no. He's horrible at that.

It's a "she" if I recall correctly, and interact before speaking :)
Keeno is one of the most kender-ish kender I've seen in a good long time (*waves to Yaalimu*)

HEY!!! Stick to the topic !!!!!  :-* ;D :P

Just kidding  ;D 8)

OOOoooooh, More faces with pretty hats on them :D  ;)

George Bush has a heart  attack and dies. He goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I  don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no  room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so  I'll tell you what I'm  going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll  let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide  who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and  over. Such was his fate in hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so.  I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer,time after time after time.

"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I  would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented  George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton  lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked  in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,"Yeah, I can handle this."


The devil smiled and said, "Monica,  you're free to go!"

I agree as well... (refer to next post  ;D)

Keeno is an AMAZING Kender, very well done RP wise.

I don't think you understand. If keen rp's the ability to be in the knights of solamnia, then she's failed at rping a kender. Simple as that.

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
 
This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.  Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
 
She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had  never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
 
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it could be the front seat of his car.
 
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing,  so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
 
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
 
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new
problem due to the extreme cold.
 
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the  moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"
 
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
 
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the  fender.
 
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down."
 
 .........And you thought your first date was embarrassing.!!
 
Jay Leno's comment . "This gives a whole new meaning to being 'pissed off

I bet they got married.

Too funny!  I may be a bit old fashioned, but dont people usually wait until the fourth date before engaging in that kind of activity??

;)