Preaching to the Bear

[Lizzy]

A priest, a preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the

students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get

together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day,

someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A

real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and

they decided to do a seven-day experiment.

 

They would each go into the woods, find a bear, and preach to it.

A week later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

 

Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on  crutches, and

has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, in a fine Irish

brogue,'Ey wint oot into th' woods to find me a bear. Oond when Ey

fund him Ey began to read to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Well, that

bear wanted naught to do with' me and begun to slap me aboot. So I quick

grabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a

lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him  fierst communion und

confierrmation."

 

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and  both

legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he

proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle... WE  DUNK!...

I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to read to  him from

God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO!

He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of  him and we began to

rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and  DOWN another until we come

to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE  his hairy soul. An' jus like

you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We  spent the rest of the week in

fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."

 

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying in a hospital bed. He's in a

body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! Preaching to the bear was easy, but he got

a bit touchy about the circumcision