Vic, ehem

deda
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Vic, ehem

« on: October 06, 2007, 01:25:37 am »

Elem, dodje ti lik u javnu kucu, u foajeu ga doceka vlasnica i pita ga sta zeli. " ja bih hteo da pojebem trudnicu", kaze on. "Uh, pa ima kod nas jedna devojka u trecem mesecu..." " Ne gospodjo, ja zelim devojku u 8-9 mesecu, cena nije problem". " Dobro, onda ostavite svoj broj pa cu vam se javiti za koji dan".
Par dana kasnije, zove njega vlasnica i kaze mu da je angazovala devojku u 8 mesecu trudnoce i tako ti se on ponovo pojavi u istoj javnoj kuci. Vlasnica ga opet doceka u foajeu i odvede do sobe na spratu gde ga je devojka cekala. On otvori vrata: devojka ogromnog stomaka lezi na ledjima na krevetu u crnom svilenom ogrtacu. On brzo udje unutra i jos brze se skine. Pridje joj i lagano podigne noge. Ona zatvori oci cekajuci da joj ga stavi kada oseti njegovu shaku kako joj ulazi. "Alo, bre covece, sta to radis?", upita ga u cudu. " Strpi se samo malo dok mu ne namestim guzu"... Huh


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ezus
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2007, 04:59:18 am »

A lot of unknowm words... Нифига не понятно.


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deda
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2008, 10:18:09 pm »

evo ti, Lazo, da ti se nadje za ubuduce.....

1. Jel vjerujes u ljubav na prvi pogled ili trebam opet proc
pored tebe?
2. Os se jebat, ionak cu svima rec da jesmo!?
3. Mozda nisam jak kao Schwarzenegger ili lijep kao Leonardo di Caprio, ali znam lizat kao Lassie
4. Mozda nisam najzgodniji tip u ovom disku, ali sam jedini koji
razgovara s tobom
5. Obleka ti je super, ali jos bolje bi izgledala kao zgužvana hrpa pored
mog kreveta.
6. Jesi za penetraciju ?
7. Kad vidis neku zensku u kaficu uzmes na sanku malo leda, odes do nje i razbijes ga, pa kazes, sad kad smo razbili led mogli bi se i upoznat.
8. Mala je ti tata terorist
-zasto?
-Ispala si prava bomba"
9. Hoces da se jebemo pa da idemo na burek?
-Neeeeeeeeeeee
-Sto, ne volis burek?
10. Bas si srce. Jel mogu ja bit infarkt da te maznem večeras?
11. Bok ja sam zlatna zelja, ispunit ću ti ribicu tri puta!
12. Cure, idete se jebat protiv nas?
13. Ej jel znas mozda kolko je sati??
-1:15h
-mislim da je vrijeme da se upoznamo
14. Istina da mi fali par zuba al' zato ima vise mjesta za tvoj jezik.
15. Ja se toliko lose jebem da to moras probat!!

boldovan ti je moja preporuka... Grin


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deda
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2008, 02:23:26 am »

Setali Mujo i Fata po livadi pa stali da malo odmore te cucnu malo u zelenu travu.
Pipnu Mujo Fatu,pa rece : Fato,pa ti ne brijes noge? Ne brijem,kaze Fata
Pipa Mujo dalje,pa rece: Fato pa ti ne nosis gacice? Ne nosim...sto ce mi - kaze Fata
Pipa Mujo dalje pa skoci i vrisnu FATO PA TI SI MUSKO !!!!!!!
Nisam Mujo, serem bolan


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deda
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2008, 01:13:45 am »

Sjeverno Kosovo.
Šiptar pozvoni Srbinu: "Dobar dan, komšija, koljiko očeš za tvoja kuča?"

"Pa, da kupim lepi stan u Beogradu i da ne brinem puno dve kile u zlatu."

"Evo tebi četiri kiljograma u zljatu."

"Zašto?"

"Idi kupi stan u Ljubljana, da te ne seljim dvaput!"


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deda
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2008, 01:16:14 am »

Krenuo cigo da kresne ciganku i cima je..
- ajd daj mi malooo....
- ma ne dam..
- ma daj mi dacu ti mobilni...
- ma necu...
- ma dajem ti mobilni sto posto....
Ova se necka i na kraju pristane... cigo je odvali i sjedne pored kad je zavrsio.
Oblaci se ciganka i kaze:
- ajd daj mobilni...
- evo ti... 098 12......

Dosao ciga kod doktora i posle kraceg pregleda doktor mu kaze:"Imam lose vesti za tebe - ziveces jos samo mesec dana..."
"Od ćega, doktore, od ćega???"

Napravili Slovenci atomsku bombu, pa se odlucili da ce je baciti na Ameriku kako bi je isprobali. Izda Kucan naredbu i Slovenci ispale bombu.
Cekaju tri dana, Ameri ništa. Naprave još jacu bombu i opet je ispale. Opet cekaju tri dana, i opet ništa. Naprave i trecu, još jacu i ispale je. Ameri opet ništa.
I sad Kucanu cudno, što George ne reagira, pa ga nazove telefonom:
"Šta je George, šta ne uzvracaš?"
-""Milane, majku ti tvoju, sravnit cu vas sa zemljom cim vas nadem na karti!!!!!!!"


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Daekrist
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2008, 09:59:49 am »

Я понял, это был топик с анекдотами.
Анекдот про Северное Косово понял наполовину


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deda
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2008, 01:47:30 pm »

which one do you want me to translate into English?


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Daekrist
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2008, 02:12:44 pm »

Quote from: deda on April 23, 2008, 01:47:30 pm

which one do you want me to translate into English?

Actually, I think it's possible to understand it without any translation, the language is about the same (well... more or less Undecided

)
But it will be nice if you translate them all


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Genocide
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2008, 02:52:27 pm »

FATO PA TI SI MUSKO !!!!!!!

Спили мушку ?


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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2008, 03:17:08 pm »

Koji se razume malo. Izvolite preniti. <- is it right ?


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deda
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2008, 06:35:04 pm »

prevesti.


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Genocide
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2008, 09:01:28 am »

Deda, davai uzhe perevod da !
A to anglo-serbski online perevodchik gavno polnoe !


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deda
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2008, 10:50:25 am »

I'll do some translation today afternoon, be patient please...


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Genocide
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2008, 08:15:28 pm »

deda, gde perevod ? pro severnoe kosovo davai.


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deda
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #15 on: April 27, 2008, 09:28:16 pm »

Quote from: deda on April 08, 2008, 01:13:45 am

Northern Kosovo.
An Albanian rings a Serbian: "Good day, neighbour, how much money do you want for your house?"
"Well, to buy myself a nice apartment in Belgrade and have no worries - let's say 2 kilos of gold."
"I'll give you 4 kilos of gold."
"Why?"
"Go and buy an apartment in Ljubljana, so that I don't have to move you twice!"


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Daekrist
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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #16 on: April 30, 2008, 11:41:43 am »

Deda, where are others?


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Re: Vic, ehem

« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2009, 09:37:22 pm »

Boze sto mi nisi dao 32 kurca i 1 zub.
Ovako svaki dan idem kod zubara a imam sex jednom mesecno.


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