Bear - with me

[Lizzy]

A bear walks into a bar in Billings and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry,demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

...........You're gonna love this.........

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The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate



Drunk Taunts Biker

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the
bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men
sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the
table, leans over, looks the biggest,meanest, biker in
the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house
today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man,
she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him
and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because
he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with
your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The
biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still s
ays nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time
and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma
liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by
the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says,

"Grandpa,....... Go home, You're drunk