The Farmer and the Lawyer

[jemma]

A lawyer went duck hunting up near Echuca in Northern Victoria.  He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.  As the lawyer was in the act of climbing over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he thought he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."  The old farmer replied, "This is my
property, and you are not coming over here."   The indignant lawyer said, "I'm one of the best trial attorneys in Victoria and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything  you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in this part of Victoria.  We settle small disagreements like this with the Three Kick Rule."   The lawyer asked, "What's that?"   The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I first kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up"

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger.  The lawyer agreed to abide by the local custom and they shook hands on the deal.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.  His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.   His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.  The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.  Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,  "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

[yenge]